50 Things Liberals Love to Hate by Mike Gallagher

By Mike Gallagher

America, how does the liberal hate thee? allow us to count number the methods . . .
It’s exertions being a liberal nowadays. not just do a trifling 20 percentage of american citizens determine themselves as liberal, yet it is easy to cross broke assisting a thin double-decaf Starbucks behavior. On most sensible of that, if you happen to hate issues such a lot americans love, it’s tiring to need to forever correct/educate/fix/enlighten the terrible dullards available in the market who simply are looking to take pleasure in their lives. Which, taken as a complete, makes the common liberal lonely, brief on money, and mad as hell! So, within the spirit of the compassion they themselves espouse, 50 issues Liberals like to Hate is fact spoken with love, a call for participation to the disenfranchised: it’s now not too overdue, liberals, to hitch the joys! C’mon, crack open a Bud and throw one other T-bone at the grill. yet kindly fee your disdain on the door in terms of:
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Bulghur, quinoa, spelt—these sound like the noises your stomach makes after a big vegan meal. Maybe that’s why they all look so miserable. It’s not an emotional problem. It’s gastric distress! Look, I love liberals—I try to love all of God’s creatures—but I’d prefer not to take a long car ride with one after they’ve had a big vegan meal. If you get my drift. So even though liberals hate steakhouses, do what you can to get one to cross the threshold. Promise them anything—just get them to the table and get some red meat into them.

I went to see The Vagina Monologues, and listened to NPR whenever I got the chance. And I even watched my carbon footprint. As much as a guy can who loves V-8s and has owned a well-cooled 3,750-square-foot home in the Dallas suburbs. Boy, I watched it, all right. I also made sacrifices for the cause. I went without meat for a week, put off NASCAR races for two, went without church, skipped Dallas Cowboys home games, and some years ago, took the deepest dive of all and rented an apartment in the Ground Zero of liberalism—New York City.

Liberals of course tend to like Alda (who is himself an inveterate liberal) and they cannot stand Wayne. Or, at a minimum, they cannot stand what Wayne stands for. Interestingly, Alda is from the Bronx—he studied in Paris and acted in Rome and Amsterdam before becoming an actor in the States. Kind of heavy on the euro-influence, wouldn’t you say? Wayne—from the Midwest—played football at Southern Cal until he started hanging around movie studios for bit parts. Most of the parts were cowboy parts.

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